I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
