Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
