Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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