my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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