I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize