she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
