I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
vagina is talking i cant
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
