i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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