Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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