If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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