someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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