Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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