i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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