D3 body, D1 cock
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize