I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I want to be your penis for a week.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize