Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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