i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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