Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
