We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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