toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
