You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize