how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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