I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
