It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
