all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
