If that was your dad, he is hot
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
