The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
