I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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