Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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