I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
