No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
