I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize