I could have mohawked her pubes.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
