can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize