Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
