I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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