We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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