You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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