Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She's the barista slut.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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