he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
