whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize