Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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