he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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