I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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