You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
