Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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