i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
