talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
