is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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