why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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