You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
