dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
