So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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