Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
