erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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