isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My breasts were aching with rage.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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