But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
