This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
