Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
