I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
