sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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