i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
