Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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