Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize