I will die if light touches me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
