Who wears a wallet chain?!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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