The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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