that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You are the jesus of drinking
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
