Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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