Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
