I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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