1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
