remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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