Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
