I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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