If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
