I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
