2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
