dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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