Don't make out with my wife yet
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
